That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
