and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
