careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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