He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
