I'm laying in your front yard are you home
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
they're like a gay fantastic four
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
