I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
