I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Randomize
