We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
