I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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