I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
