I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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