just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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