when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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