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I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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