Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
