I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
