Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
