that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
