In the future we'll all be gay
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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