You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
