he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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