I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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