Whod you bang
Already got asked if we're dating
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
