I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Michael Bay diarrhea
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
