Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
