she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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