Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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