can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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