Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
