guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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