Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
