how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.â€
Randomize
