You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
