You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
