You can't motorboat a personality
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
