dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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