im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
