She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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