Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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