I can text with my tongue
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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