Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
