everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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