hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
