come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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