I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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