I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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