WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
