ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
