I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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