There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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