remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
