Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
