"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
