I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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