No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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