The maid of honor just puked.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
